The Essential Quality of Mental Toughness

It takes more than visualization, self-talk, relaxation and concentration to be a real winner in life. Unlike The Secret, simply thinking “I am leaner, energized, and have a great body...plus I make a million dollars a year working only a few hours a week!” won’t cut it. It takes a kind of strength through mental toughness that only a handful of people truly understand.

However, once you do understand it, you can master yourself and how you respond to almost anything that comes your way.

You do not have to be born with mental toughness. Mental toughness is a manageable trait; a learned skill. You don't have to go through a trial by fire to experience it. Simply living day to day will allow most of us to live through trials and tribulations enough to toughen us up.

Here are some action tips for you to gain more mental toughness in everything you do:

1. Listen to the experts. Read biographies and listen to audio programs of winners who have overcome tremendous obstacles and setbacks to become successful. Check out success stories in magazines and the Internet - fitness, money, or otherwise - you'll find they are people just like you. If they can do it, why can’t you as well?

2. No pain, no gain vs. patience, pacing, and persistence. You don't need to go through emotional or physical pain to succeed. This is a myth. When you realize that failure and handicaps have not prevented winners in any area of life, you gain more confidence and courage to pursue your own dreams.

And you don't need to "come from behind" to get ahead. Learn from the trial and error of others, and expect more of yourself. No pipedreams, just more and expect to get it. It can be easy to over-train, over-commit, and overwork if your expectations are too much. Be malleable and prepared for hurdles along the way. Success will come with consistency and effort; understand it may take months instead of days.

3. "What next?" thinking. Give yourself solution-oriented feedback when solving your problems. Dwelling on what went wrong won’t help matters here. Instead think, “What am I going to do about it?” Spend your energy on moving forward, finding an answer. Journaling may help here. Write down things like, “What did I accomplish today?” “What went well?” “What can I do better?” “How do I feel about my progress?” “Are my goals making me reach, or am I just going through the motions?” “Am I focused?” “Are my goals my own?”

4. Get comfortable with the unfamiliar. Frequently break up your routine. Make it a part of your daily practice to do something out of the ordinary and totally different than what you normally do. Train at a different gym. Put your TV in the closet for a month. Drive to work using a different route. Change workout routines regularly. You'll be better prepared to handle diverse environments with greater calm and confidence.

5. Think and speak favorably of your health. Teach yourself and your children to use positive self-talk about fitness and personal health. Too much attention is paid to minor aches and pains, like there's value to not feeling good. Oftentimes what we think about most grows and our self-fulfilling prophesy is that we make real what is the "main feature" of ourselves. What's your "main feature"?

6. Don't be a victim of ads and fads. We all know it; the world is full of greedy people looking for a fast and easy way to put your money in their pockets. Make sure the thing that impresses you meets your criteria, and satisfies your concerns. Mental toughness doesn't mean going it alone, with lose-weight-fast or get-rich-quick schemes. Mental toughness means learning from the pros that have been there and done that.

7. Hang out with people who have already achieved their goals or who are dedicated to goals similar to yours. Avoid associating with people who have the same unresolved problems or who are frustrated by their lack of achievement. Stay away from “pity parties.” "Oh, woe is me. My life is in the dumpster right now! How about you?" "I know how you feel…I’m right there with you. I feel terrible about myself. How about you?"

Often time’s people seem to thrive on the attention they get when they feel bad. A social support network of like-minded people gives you motivation, support, and purpose for succeeding.

8. Focus on desired results. Pure and simple: winners dwell on the rewards of success. Losers focus on mistakes and failure. Do what's necessary now. Be in the present. Then you don't have to worry about what happened yesterday or what's going to happen tomorrow. Thus, two-thirds of your worries disappear.

9. Expect the unexpected. You can't control what nature and others do. You can anticipate what may happen, and prepare for it to the best of your ability. You can also control your response to what happens.

God bless,
SP